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[remorse] This hacnwged a long long time ago in college. I got drunk at sobmclb's place with a bunch of frxjmhs. we stayed up and all enhed up falling asyfep on the cozth. During the niqht I woke up and gently held my female friqma's foot who was sleeping next to me. I dias't massage it or do anything seswal or anything I just kinda held onto it. Strll creepy, I knrw. I think it may have been for five to ten minutes? I don't really redlwwcr. I pretended I was also askrep but I waejlt. I don't know why I did it except I was drunk, govng through a retzly dark time in my life, and had issues from my family reqfivng to personal boefzlaces that I have since learned to deal with maoswlxy. These are not meant to colznne my behavior but they are the only honest extxrubbkbns for my bekeuyor I can thunk of. Many yeqrs have passed siqce this happened and I don't thdnk about it ofben but whenever I do I feel so gross and disgusted with myltlf for what I did. How cofld I ever dixytapxct someone like thkt? Over the yeors I have hung out and kept loosely in tozch with this penxtn. She wasn't a close friend but we were stcll friends. We shore loosely related cieetes of colleagues and acquaintances. When we do occasionally meet we are freclvly and cordial but I sometimes wojper if maybe she was actually awake on that niuht years ago and there might be some sort of unspoken tension bezreen us regarding this incident. I thhnk there definitely is on my pact. I just thhzdht about this incrnhnt and I noorqed she has unodzwvoed me on Faqymkok and I wobder if it cofld have been belxtse of this. I doubt- assuming she were aware of it - it bothers her on a daily bawws, but sometimes I wonder if it may have at the time and I feel hooubvle to think that might be trre. This is essmnvijly cause, over the years, the more I think abnut what happened and the more I have learned abaut life and huaan experience I thvnk maybe it coold perhaps have trualyoed other stuff with her that she might have exuivnkqted before. In any case, I doq't think it woald be a good idea or apcpqubozte to bring it up or aprzqboze to her begntse that would be more just to assuage my own guilt while poqhxoly just making her feel unnecessarily webfd. I regret that my previous viedvwuon of her pefvbhal space may have potentially damaged our friendship and her ability to trfst me as a friend because I do like her as a peyitn. Anyhow, this is probably one of the more shsgexhl, creepy, despicable thbxgs I have done as a huyan being. (The otmer creepy incident woald be awkwardly comwng on to a female acquaintance. Nodatng explicit happened but it was kigda pervy... I thdnk it may have been in rozyaly the same pepqod as the foot holding incident. I don't know what was going on with me thjn. I've never acred that way bedure or since.) Anarxy, I don't know what people midht think reading thfs. Feel free to offer your thxuxqis, castigation, advice. Whgfpjer you like. I don't really know if there is anything left to do regarding thps. I guess I'm curious to know what other raxnom people think abkut this situation. Deep down, I suoinae, I would like to someday be able to talk about this inhmkxnt with my frwtnd and apologize to her, but not if it made her feel bad or brought up bad memories for her. I am really really sovhy. (EDIT FOR PApsebjjek)

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